Interesting Movies Anonymous: The 40 Year-Old Virgin

It shouldn't surprise the lot of you that raunchy sex comedies just aren't my thing. As such, I saw all the trailers that advertised The 40 Year-Old Virgin as a raunchy sex comedy mocking virgins, and figured it really wasn't something I needed (or wanted) to see.

Well, huzzah for airing on TV, because I'll watch almost anything if it's there and free. And I say huzzah with all sincerity, because although it's still a raunchy sex comedy - blanking out the f-word is pretty ineffectual, bestiality jokes shouldn't grind anyone's gears, and we can be pretty sure that someone did not in fact yell "you stupid jerk!" in a moment of over-dubbed rage - it is, in every other way, not what I expected. The 40 Year-Old Virgin doesn't make fun of Steve Carrell's Andy for never having had sex, but it does have some choice words for his colleagues at this production's version of Best Buy, who are sexually unhealthy in every way. Andy's "friends" treat women like objects (and objects like women). They have zero respect for women and, in many ways, zero respect for themselves. To them, the point of sex is conquest and selfish pleasure, and when they learn that Andy's a virgin, they seek to instruct him in their ways. They tell him that before he finds someone he actually loves, he has to sleep with lots of women so that he can practice his technique - a commonly held belief - so they do things like take him to clubs an encourage him to prey on drunk women, which just isn't Andy's style. Andy may be a virgin, but this film doesn't see him as a loser. He has his own apartment, small but nice, he rides a bicycle just because he happens to like doing it, he has a steady though uninspiring job, and is an all-around nice guy. What he doesn't have is a social support system - no healthy friendships, or any visible relationships of any sort. He's a good guy, but he's very lonely. In many ways, attaining a sexual relationship isn't the goal for his character - we just want to seem him have any sort of relationship.

While gamely going along with a constant flow of terrible and pathetic advice, Andy meets Trish, a woman his age whose business is selling things for people on eBay. In other words, Trish works at a store where no one can buy anything - she, too, is quite alone. Andy and Trish hit it off and one date turns into many, to the point where it seems Andy can no longer put off concealing the fact that he's never had sex, and he's as nervous about telling her that as he is about engaging in the act. Fortunately for him, events transpire that lead him and Trish to agree to not have sex until their twentieth date, buying him a bit more time. Of course, there are complications like the revelation that Trish is not only a mom but a grandma - which doesn't bother Andy, but her teenager isn't too fond of him - and the huge fight that's always lurking right around the corner...okay, I'm going to do something here. I know that most of my friends would never, ever watch this movie, so I'm going to spoil it in order to tell you what makes it so interesting. But not for a paragraph or two.

What makes this film stand out is, really, the presentation of Andy's completely unhealthy (but, to anyone who's been to college recently, sadly familiar) friends who are getting all the sex they could possibly want as the pathetic losers. I really wasn't expecting that. A major metaphor throughout the film is Andy's action figure collection. He has hundreds, some of them acquired as a child, none removed from their original packaging. When his friends see his apartment for the first time, and ask him what the point is of never taking the figures out of their boxes, he explains that, even though it's really tempting to do so, the moment you take the action figure out and start playing with it, it loses its value. This simple, beautiful metaphor is in perfect tune with both the nature of sex and the contrast between Andy and his friends, and is, in many ways, the theme of the film.

The fact that this movie doesn't hold Andy up as either wishy-washy or a subject of ridicule is confirmed by the ending, wherein Andy and Trish get married, and Andy loses his virginity to none other than his wife. After the act - which is not on-screen - comes Andy turning to the camera and beginning song-and-dance rendition of "The Age of Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In" which is one of the most ridiculously funny things I've seen in a while. I was laughing so hard I cried. And yet, the rest of the film tells me that this sequence isn't a joke. This movie isn't about conquest, but completion, and in having sex with his wife for the first time, completion is exactly what Andy has. As such, the dance sequence is, I believe, an honest and wonderful (and hilarious) expression of how amazing and wonderful healthy sex is. It's significant that this sequence follows Andy's first time, confirming that his friend's assertion that you need to practice before doing it with the one you love is a nothing but one of the worst lies a man can tell (or believe).

Of course, there's no denying that it's still, as I've said several times, a raunchy sex comedy. How much this affects your ability to watch it would, I suppose, depend on several factors. I find this stuff repulsive, but I can watch the film and enjoy it because I just went to art school for four years, during which I was surrounded daily by people having the kinds of conversations Andy's friends have. I kind of have an automatic shut-off / shut-on for the beginning of ends of this kinds of conversations, because I've had lots of practice at ignoring them. The sad thing is, Andy's friends aren't ludicrous characters, but very, very real and familiar to me. I fully recognize that a lot of people I know will consider this unnacceptable to watch; however, for people who study culture, it's an intriguing film of contemporary role-reversal. Also, Steve Carrell is fantastic. And the message is good. But, yeah...so very foul-mouthed.

Should I recommend this film? I don't know. I think there's value it it. But...and it's a big but. You know yourself and what you will/should and won't/should not watch. Personally, I'm glad that I did. But you might not be. So I guess I don't recommend it...I just wanted to share my findings. You'll know what to do with them.