Say what you will about the Walt Disney Company's animated productions - and my husband's side of the family has some pretty excoriating things to say about the average messages contained therein - but that studio's ability to turn out a kick-ass live-action family film cannot be denied. From classic, widely recognized productions like Treasue Island, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Swiss Family Robinson, and Mary Poppins to standards of my generation like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids!, White Fang, Iron Will, The Rocketeer, and Newsies, Disney just keeps bringing the live-action awesomeness. Sure, there have been some missteps (most recently, the final two Pirates of the Carribbean films), but otherwise, the Disney live-action studio has a solid and well-deserved reputation.
Which brings us to my most enduring, entertaining Disney live-action of the early 90's: The Three Musketeers, starring Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, and Oliver Platt as the title trio and throwing in young upstart Chris O'Donnell as young upstart D'Artagnan. Of course, no 90's production would be complete without Tim Curry serving some sort of nefarious purpose...hey, is that him as Cardinal Richelieu? Check and check!
Is this a great film by great film standards? Of course not. And if you're trying to duck out of reading for that book report, kids, this is not the film you're looking for. What you'd want in that instance is The Three Musketeers and The Four Musketeers, starring Michael York and comprising the entire book in two parts. Fun productions, those are. The film in question out-Coles Coles Notes as far as story is concerned, for story is no one's worry here save as it applies to Athos (Sutherland). And, you know, as much as I enjoy that fun, fun book, I'm okay with Disney making a family film that cuts out D'Artagnan's flagrant, unstoppable adultery. You don't watch this particular production for an interesting take on The Three Musketeers; you watch it for the entertaining acting, Tim Curry's unbridled and gleeful villainy, and to decide what you should ingest every time someone says the word "musketeer" (note: this should probably be neither alcoholic nor fattening - the use of "musketeer" here is as prevalent as close-ups of the One Ring in the Lord of the Rings trilogy).
The bottom line is, it's fun, it's friendly, it's swashbuckling, and it has that classic theme song courtesy of Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, and Sting. And now that I'm all grown up, and know a thing or two about French aesthetic history, I no longer spend most of the film trying to figure out if King Louis is supposed to be a man or a woman. Good times? Had by all!
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