At last, I can start suffering and write that symphony.

One of the most enjoyable diversions of Entertainment Weekly is their lists. This week alone we have Top 50 Most Evil Movie Villains, Top 17 Memorable Dolly Parton Quotes, Top 17 Anti-War Films, Top 20 Scariest Movies, and, the subject of this post, 25 Best Movie Musicals Ever. So, now I'll do to their list what all good bloggers do: judge them! You'll get yours, Entertainment Weekly! Ha!

The ones on the list I've seen, in EW's order, and minus a few otherwise this post would be far too long and I'm trying to cut back:

25. Once

My Grade: A++. True, honest, beautiful. You won't miss the lack of spontaneous dancing, I promise.

My Ranking: Top 5


24. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

My Grade: Is there anything below F? You'd be hard-pressed to find a hammier, more poorly acted and staged, creepier movie musical than this gaudy celebration of the joys of Stockholm Syndrome.

My Ranking: This film doesn't deserve to live, and whoever put it on EW's list above Once should be forced to watch it every day for the rest of their lives.


21. Beauty and the Beast

My Grade: My husband hates this musical. He thinks it perverts little girls' concepts of love because the Beast's true form is a handsome prince. Then again, he says that about all Disney love stories. Me, I don't think there are any serious concerns with this one - plus the score is top-notch, the voice acting stellar, and there rich watercolour animation almost makes me cry for being so lovely. A+.

My Ranking: Top 10.


19. The Sound of Music

My Grade: A+++! The extra + comes from the documentary on the DVD - it's really fascinating. Did you know that Christopher Plummer knew Maria Von Trapp? Wild!

My Ranking: Top 5.


17. Chicago

My Grade: A+. Solid satire, steamy, gritty, brilliant staging, and let's not forget the inspired decision by director Rob Marshall to stage all musical numbers in a night club.

My Ranking: Top 10.


14. Grease.

My Grade: D. The score is pretty infectious, yes, but I hate this show, from its trite, unlikeable characters right down to its ridiculous little ending.

My Ranking: bottom 100.

7. A Hard Day's Night

My Grade: A. And kudos, EW - the presence of this on a Top 25 musicals list is a wonderful surprise. Enjoy the Fab Four at the height of Beatlemania as they do their acting-singing thing in that dry British manner; Richard Lester's Ed Wood-ian turn as the frazzled, fuzzy sweater-loving director of a variety show is the icing on the cake.

My Ranking: Top 20.


5. Mary Poppins

My Grade: A++. Can Julie Andrews ever do wrong? The answer, by the way, is no. I had such a crush on Bert as a kid, and now that I'm all grown up I'm in love with his and Mary's subtle, downplayed, thoroughly sweet and unconventional love story amidst all the singing and FX glory.

My Ranking: Top 5.

3. Singin' in the Rain

My Grade: A++...+. The extra plus is for the actress who plays Lena. Funny, sweet, and featuring some of the best dancing in the history of film.

My Ranking: #1. Even with the disconnected, revue-style "we need one more number!" sequence ("Gotta Dance"), I think this show epitomizes the purpose and nature of the American musical.


2. West Side Story

My Grade: I'm going to be objective here and give it a B, because the songs are strong and the dancing really is incredible. But I always have, and always will, find Romeo and Juliet and all versions thereof to be stupid, so my subjective ranking is a big fat F. Somewhere, my mother-in-law is crying.

My Ranking: A grudging top 30.

1. The Wizard of Oz

My Grade: C. The greatest movie musical of all-time? Really? I think this is nostalgia talking - I've never felt nostalgic about this show, and hence have also found it to be little more than average. The songs are pretty basic, as is the dancing. Looks pretty, though.

My Ranking: Between 50-40.


Now, I'm pretty sure this list is based on shows that were screen productions before hitting Broadway - how else to explain the absence of, say, Les Miserables, when South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut came in at #8? - and yet, Chicago WAS a musical stage show before it went to film....so I'm confused. And if being a film first is the criteria, then how can anyone justify the absence of....

Fiddler on the Roof

My Grade: A++. I saw it for the first time in 2002 and was absolutely blown away by the singing and dancing, especially where Tevye is concerned - and that's not even touching on the honest, lovely, wrenching story. Plus, the dream sequence is one of the wierdest, funniest, smartest I've ever seen. Plus, it's interesting to me historically, as I've Jewish blood from my father's family, and on my mother's side my grandma was from a Polish noble family who was displaced by the Cossacks, who counted my great-grandfather as one of their officers....it's all quite long and fascinating, the bottom line is, the pogroms are a very strange part of my family history. And the fiddling is....um.....wow. I mean, really. Wow.

My Ranking: Top 5.

Well, commentators? What's missing from EW's list? What should never be considered by anyone to be among the Top 25?